YO QUIERO TACO BELL

I live in the Tex-Mex capital of the world. There have to be more taquerias per capita in San Antonio than any other place in the world. As a result, I have become somewhat of a TexMex food snob, looking down my nose at Taco Bell, Pollo Loco, Taco Villa, and the like. Not only am I a TexMex snob, so is every other Hispanic in San Antonio.

The peer pressure to conform is tremendous. Because of it, I hadn’t eaten at Taco Bell in a couple of years….until today. In a moment of weakness and absolute hunger, I stopped in the Taco Bell down the street from work.

As a precaution, I wore my dark sunglasses, hoping I wouldn’t be recognized in my SYSCO CARES button down shirt. I stood before the cashier, anxious with anticipation. I reviewed my options on the menu above her and my palms began to sweat because I couldn’t make up my mind. Is it possible for so many options of culinary delight to be under $4.99?

I saw my old stand-by, the T-1 combo: a luscious Burrito Supreme, a Taco Supreme, and a DIET Pepsi. I placed my order, giddy with anticipation, then made my way over to the drink machine to fill my cup.

“Number 28 please!”

Oh my God, can it be? I haven’t even finished filling my cup with DIET Pepsi, and my order is ready? Who in the hell does it that fast? Certainly not any of the aforementioned taquerias that I frequent.

I sat down ready to plunge into the scrumptious feast oozing with sour cream before me. What should I eat first? It had been so long, I almost forgot that I always eat my taco first, so I will have the taste of the burrito as the last thing on my tongue.

I scarfed down the taco in the blink of an eye. After covering the insides of the burrito with the hottest sauce they had available, I took my first bite. I forgot how heavenly it tasted. How can one describe the leathery, chewy texture of the thin flour tortilla?

Forget the handmade tortillas from the taquerias that melt in your mouth. Taco Bell tortillas remind me of my younger years – eating anything at 2:30 in the morning, while nursing a decent buzz.

Finished with the repast, I sat on the plastic bench, stuffed and happy. As the meat sauce with too much black pepper dribbled down my chin, I thought just like seeing a movie you’ve seen a hundred times, “this should last me another couple of years”